Fleeting Fireflies

 

Fleeting Fireflies

Moments in life I wish to preserve

Are like fireflies that flit and flash

You might try to put them in a glass

But still, they just cannot last

 

For this vanishing beauty we give God praise

Just marvel in wonder and be amazed

The present, not made for albums or frame

But fleetingly lights up our lives just the same

 

Glowing glimpses of God’s glory to behold in the now  

Just a moment in time…And then gone

~Jill Lund, June 2020

I wrote this poem after experiencing an amazing firefly show in our backyard like I have never seen before. It was during the time when my dad was failing quickly and was not long for this earth. I woke up in the middle of the night and I saw the sparkle of fireflies out the window. But I also saw this enchanting glow in the tall grass. I put my glasses on and I was astounded at the amazing sight. The whole yard was filled with glittering light and the glow in the grass was brilliant. I knew no picture would ever do it justice and that I could not preserve its beauty. I just had to stop and appreciate it as best I could. I thought of my dad and how I wished that I could preserve the moments that I had with him too. I knew the time was fleeting. He died June 26. But this experience was a gift that is a beautiful memory. It reminds me to be grateful and appreciate what I have while I still have it. The most beautiful things in life bring us true joy when we appreciate them in the moment.

A Plane Two Trains and a Bus

A Plane, Two Trains and a Bus

Parenting is the biggest job there is! The job description has no end. Is one ever finished being a parent? The years that our boys were home is a not so distant memory for us. They come back home and are always welcome! But the door is a revolving door and soon they are gone again. Three years ago I wrote this poem when one of our boys was going to Europe to study for a year. I continue to learn how to let them go into independence, into responsibility, into adulthood. What is my role now? I will pray for them, encourage them and trust God to lead them.

A plane, two trains and a bus

will take him far away from us

to meet new people, chase his dreams

New adventure is important it seems

A boy on his way to becoming a man

We encourage him to know he can

Would I really want him to stay

Keeping all things the same every day?

So we must let him go

knowing that through this he will grow

What I clench in the darkness of my hand

cannot breath or flourish or expand

Even though I know all this to be true

it doesn't keep me from feeling blue

But I turn to my sovereign Father in heaven

and the promise of comfort and peace will be given

As I entrust my child into His hands

God will unfold the grander plan

by Jill Lund

in 2015

On Wing's as Eagles

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and 

God of all comfort." II Cor. 1:3

The Lord says, “I will make you wise and show you where to go. 

I will guide you and watch over you.Psalm 32:8

So many times in my life I have experienced God's gentle guidance as He reveals truth to me that relates to my current circumstance. As I seek to grow in my faith by reading scripture, discussing ideas with friends, listening to sermons or songs, I find that if I am paying attention, morsels of truth stand out in a definite theme. The work of God is often that "still small voice" as described in the story of Elijah in 1 Kings, where it says that the Lord spoke to Elijah in a “gentle whisper.” His guidance is not usually through dramatic revelations or manifestations; it is often right in the midst of our daily routines. Here is a story of how God made His specific truth and comfort very real to me through my experience.

Back in the fall of 2007, my mom was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. The doctors explained how serious it was and the aggressive plans for surgery and chemotherapy. My heart was so heavy as I faced this news. This reality was all new to me. In my fear I grieved the loss of my healthy mom, truly thinking that this was the end. I wondered if I could ask God for one more Thanksgiving, one more Christmas, one more birthday? What could I ask for? I did not even know how to pray.

My heart was aching so much that I could hardly function. But I remember making myself move forward with the normal routine. I had two boys at home that I was homeschooling at the time. One day, in the later morning I let the boys go outside and I followed them with my basket of freshly washed clothes to hang on the line. As I began to hang them, I remembered what my sister-in-law taught me about hanging clothes with the direction of the wind to help them dry faster. I realized the wind was blowing in the opposite direction so I crossed under the line. As I faced the new direction and looked up, directly in my line of vision was a bald eagle perched at the tip-top of the tallest tree in our yard. Just at that moment it took off in flight. It pumped its powerful wings down and up only twice with amazing strength. Then it spread its wings out to their full expanse and soared in a wide circle. I called to the boys to look, look at this awesome sight! It continued to soar in a circle winding up and up and up, never pumping its wings again. We kept watching in amazement as we could see it, soaring higher and higher in the perfectly clear sky that day. It was still spiraling way up in the sky and we could still see it - even when its wingspan was smaller than my pinky fingernail. Then it stopped spiraling and flew north. "Wow, that was amazing!" I gasped. I couldn't believe the beauty of what I had just witnessed.

I told my husband about it and he said that it was riding on a thermal lift which I now understand is a column of rising air that is formed on the ground through the warming of the surface by sunlight. In my research on the site dnr.wi.gov, I have learned that different temperatures on the earth's surface cause the air above these surfaces to also have different temperatures. When the warm air is next to the cooler air, forces are set up that make the warmer air rise. This rising part of the air is called a thermal. A bald eagle's wings are specially adapted to take advantage of these rising thermals of air.

After seeing this, I decided to look up all the Bible verses that mention eagles. I found the more common verse, Isaiah 40:31 "but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint" -- always beautiful and inspiring.

I also remembered the song "On Eagle's Wings" from Psalm 91 that says, "You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord, who abide in His shadow for life, say to the Lord: 'My refuge, my Rock in whom I trust!'And He will raise you up on eagle's wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like the sun, and hold you in the palm of His hand."

Then I found Exodus 19:4 which I had never thought about before. God called to Moses from the mountain and told him what to speak to the people of Israel."Tell the People of Israel: ‘You have seen what I did to Egypt and how I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to Me'". Egypt was a land of slavery and suffering for the people of Israel. God brought them out and led them to the Promised Land. Pastor Nate Meiers of Berean Church explains the Biblical analogy, "Entering the Promised Land after all those years of wandering, crossing the Jordan River into that place promised by God ... is like crossing through death into heaven. This life is temporary. The difficulties and pains we encounter as we seek to follow God are a momentary and light affliction compared to the eternal weight of the glory that awaits us in that spectacular place where our faith shall become sight (II Cor. 4:17). One day we shall cross the Jordan. Faith and hope will be no more and all will be love" (http://www.bereanfamily.com). God made a way for His people to escape this land of suffering by carrying them "on eagles' wings" as He brought them to Himself.

What an analogy! What would it really be like to soar above everything including difficult roads or mountains? To ride on eagle's wings would be quite a ride! Through looking at these verses I gained a better understanding of God's love and strength that carries us in this broken world filled with hardships.

I felt His direct comfort in the picture that He gave me as I witnessed that eagle rise higher and higher. My fears of cancer, death, or losing my mom subsided as I became fully aware of God's strong ability to carry us through this trial. And not only this, but God would carry my mom to the end of her life and to Himself as if on eagle's wings. I didn't need to worry about her suffering. I didn't need to be anxious about her death. God would carry her in His strength and on His wings, and when the time came according to the number of her days which God knew, she would just stop circling and fly north to be forever with Him.

Mom did have a rough time of it for a while. The chemotherapy nearly took her life. At one point she was taken to the emergency room and went unresponsive. They placed her in the Intensive Care Unit and she remained there for 17 days in 2008. Our family gathered to be with her as often as we could, including Easter Sunday that year. My sister, Dawn, stayed with her the most. At that time Dawn and her husband, Lee, were waiting for their pending adoptions to come through for one girl from China and a brother and sister from Haiti. Dawn, along with all of us, prayed that Mom would be able to know these children and that they would know her as their Grandma. Miraculously, Mom did recover. I believe God touched her with His healing hand and granted our requests! Mom had more than 8 years of relatively good health following her physical therapy and return home. My sister's family was finally brought together by the winter of 2010. Mom did spend a lot of time with those grandchildren and they grew to love her very much.

In November 2016, doctors discovered Mom's cancer had returned. Her cancer was inoperable and they began to talk about comfort care for her final days. My siblings were able to all be together with her in her responsive days. It was a sacred time. On December 9th at 11:30 p.m., she crossed the Jordan River into the Promised Land. That night I could not sleep. I had the hymn, "Until Then" echoing in my mind. But I only knew the chorus. I decided to look up the verses. I was amazed at the words! Below are a couple verses and the chorus. I find great comfort in these words which speak of the hope of heaven. I believe God brought this hymn to my mind in such a timely way. I never realized that a falcon was mentioned in a hymn! The message of this hymn brought the theme of God's specific comfort around in a full circle from the beginning of my mom's diagnosis to her final breath. I know that God was carrying her with His strength as if on eagle's wings.


by Ava Wilson

Until Then

Verse 1

My heart can sing when I pause to remember
A heartache here is but a stepping stone
Along a trail that's winding always upward,
This troubled world is not my final home.

Chorus

But until then my heart will go on singing,
Until then with joy I'll carry on,
Until the day my eyes behold my Savior,
Until the day God calls me home.

This weary world with all its toil and struggle
May take its toll of misery and strife;
The soul of man is like a waiting falcon;
When it's released, it's destined for the skies.
~Stuart Hamblen 

On the day of my mom's memorial service, my grandniece, Ava Wilson, handed me a very thoughtful gift - her drawing of an eagle inspired by this story. Perfect.

Living Well

The more I live, the more I see, the more I experience, I ask myself, "How do I live well?"; "How do I age well?" Last week I attended the celebration of life service of a 96 year old  Christian man, Ancel Highstrom. Here was an example of one who lived well. He fought in atrocious battles of World War II in Italy and earned many medals of valor. But what stands out most in my mind about Ancel is when he came home from the war.  He resolved to be faithful to God, to his family and to live life to the fullest as a way of honoring his comrades who had lost their lives. They no longer had the privilege of living out their days, so by enjoying life to the full, Ancel honored them. He also honored God.

The Word of God is full of stories and lessons on how to live well. Jesus said that he came that we might live an abundant life. Also, 2 Corinthians 5: 15-21 says " and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised... Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.  All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation;  that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us." Our salvation through Jesus Christ gives us new life, new purpose and new ministry.

What does it really mean to live well? As Christ changes us, we can truly represent Him as ambassadors. We no longer live for ourselves and we can speak in ways that contribute to God's purposes in others' lives as well as our own. Paul David Tripp writes in the book, War of Words,  "every sinner has the desire to be God and to have the world operate according to his or her pleasure and will. Jesus lived, died, and was raised again to break our bondage to this idol." This gives a greater purpose to all that we communicate. Tripp writes, "Yes, we want to solve the horizontal, earthly problems in our lives, but we want more than that. Human problems are opportunities God can use to draw the people around us into a fuller and deeper fellowship with him. This higher agenda is present in every relationship and every situation. God is working redemptively in all of them."

All that we communicate is not merely through words. Recently I was reading a little book written by a Rev. W.H. Elliott who was a chaplain to the King of England in the 1930's. The first chapter is "On the Art of Living". In it Elliott writes, "To live well is the only success worth having. Without it all other successes become useless and , indeed, dangerous, the root causes of our unhappiness and unrest." As Christians, we have deep convictions about God and the great realities that we believe to be ultimate truth - the unchanging expressions of His will. And we seek to live in obedience. This is a way of living which we wish to purposefully commend to others. But the best method of accomplishing this is not through verbal arguments. "The world is watching for the people who live well. Those are the people who are arguing most effectively for the Christian faith," Elliott writes. Also he says that if the Christian Church really demonstrated the art of life, it would be appealing to the world.  "The greatest and most honorable servants of God are ...those who in some inconspicuous corner of life live as they pray, and make goodness a beautiful and fragrant thing to all who see them and know them." As 2 Cor. 2:15 says, "For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing."  So to our best ability we choose to live well as we obey God, appreciate life and enjoy all that He has made. Our trust is in God, "who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment." (I Timothy 6:17)  Elliott concludes, "You and I...are not arguing about the growth of the lilac. We just love it for its loveliness, and breathe in its sweetness to our tired souls."  

Soul Song

In all of my routines and duties

I'm strengthened by truth and beauty

that subtly washes pure and fresh

in and out of my consciousness

Just like my heart is ever beating

Giving life to my being

I find that as I live each day

My soul is nourished along the way

by a melody that joyfully flows

like an undercurrent and then I know

My strength has come all along

from Him who gave my heart a song

In Memory of Eleanor Viola Bonneville

In Memory of Eleanor Viola Bonneville who went to her heavenly home on July 19, 2014, at the Frederic Nursing and Rehab Center in Frederic, WI

Eleanor was a dear friend to me in the past few years. I met her when she attended our church several years ago. Then I saw her often at the Sunday afternoon services at the care center. Her eyes were failing and she really missed being able to read on her own so we established a weekly routine where I would come to read Scripture and books to her. She loved the Word of God and would often ask questions that would lead to interesting discussions. I enjoyed having a friend who was 98 years old.

She loved the Lord Jesus and longed to be with Him. She often told me that she was ready to go and she was praying that God would allow her to die in her sleep. When she would ask, "Why am I still here when I can hardly see and I cannot hear very well?" I would tell her, "We need your prayers, Eleanor!" I asked her to pray about my friends in need, my son going to boot camp,  situations in our country and in the world. She amazed me often when she would ask about these specific things the next time I came.  She could remember things better than I.

Last spring we had a touching conversation. Eleanor asked me if I would be at her funeral and I told her that I would be. "Then you are a good person to do this for me. Tell my family and all the people these things for me," she emphasized. "Tell them that Jesus said, 'I will never leave you  or forsake you,  lo I am with you until the end of the age.'" Then she went on to say, "Also tell them 'Gråt inte efter mig' which is Swedish meaning, 'Don't cry after me'".

She sometimes told me stories of her life like when she was born at her family's farm in 1916 (to Gerda and Oscar Olson) prematurely. She was the tenth of eleven children and she only weighed around 3 pounds. She told me that her parents placed her in a shoe box and put it in the oven as an incubator. They took turns monitoring the oven temperature. I was amazed at how God preserved her life.

Another time as a young girl she stepped on a rusty nail. She did not think much of it and did not even inform her parents. When she came into town to meet her sister at the train station, her sister saw her leg and told her that she should have a doctor look at it. When Eleanor did, he told her that if she had not gotten treatment, she would have died.

Her life was preserved because God had many special purposes for Eleanor. The family and friends who were at her memorial service as well as many others who were not, were a part of that purpose. On July 24th I shared with those at her memorial service those things that she asked me to tell them. I will miss my praying friend.

Lyrics to Jimmy Needham's Song "Clear the Stage"

Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze
If that's the measure you must take to crush the idols
Jerk the pews and all the decorations, too
Until the congregation's few, then have revival...
Then seek the Lord and wait for what he has in store
And know that great is your reward so just be hopeful

'Cause you can sing all you want to
Yes, you can sing all you want to
You can sing all you want to
And still get it wrong; worship is more than a song

...We must not worship something that's not even worth it

Clear the stage, make some space for the One who deserves it.